Baseball! Email. I just had a question … After becoming frustrated doing math homework because she kept getting the wrong answer, she shut her computer and angrily told the members of her study group she needed a break. I'm with you on all that, but you're missing one glaring problem: Your questions suck. This double standard rests on assumptions of female biological inferiority and reinforces a prejudice stretching back to ancient times. It's just an unecessary, annoying question with no real response. But the notion that women are not as competent and capable as men in math, engineering and other male-dominated fields persists. ), What she hears: "Too stupid for birth control, dummy?". Research suggests that millennials and members of Generation Z – Americans born between 1995 and 2015 – are more accepting of people regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity than earlier generations. I’m a sociologist who researches the perils women experience on a daily basis simply for existing. ", What she hears: "Your emotions and thoughts hold less weight because, ya know, periods and all.". You don't see us asking Sephora employees for help with that "exhaustion" eye makeup trend. 102K Shares. Where is the last place you would ever go? Nothing invalidates a woman's feelings like this clever question — as if our bodies are momentarily snatched by blood-leaking zombies who strictly operate to their hormonal coding. When Saint Peter saw the woman making cakes, he asked her for one of her large store of cakes. Avoid these twenty queries at all costs and you'll be well on your way to scoring a repeat meet-up. Annoying questions can be fully rooted in ignorance, or they might be clouded with passive aggression and judgment. It's rooted in whatever is happening in that moment, rather than randomly spewed from a grabbag of generic conversation starters. Jamal told the two other women present that it was “probably because she was about to start her period cycle.”. We call this level three because if you are looking for flirty questions to ask a woman over text it means that you already have her number. How much prettier she is than you. But sometimes, we wish that we could sit a guy down (not even our own boyfriend, just any guy) and ask him some super tough questions. Maybe you see a visibly pregnant woman pushing a grocery cart with three small kids trailing behind and you decide to be cute or witty with your little zinger. As if the blood is coming directly from our brains, and can't ... form ... rational ... sentences. Universal Pictures/Knocked Up . Although the symptoms of hysteria changed throughout cultural contexts, symptoms were consistently connected to the prevailing medical beliefs of women’s biological anatomy. Throughout time and in most cultures, labeling women as “hysterical” continued to suggest that women’s competence, or lack thereof, remained anchored to their reproductive organs. But I have to warn you – These are only 17 “Innocent” Words out of In my view, this prejudice hinders women on many career paths, including politics and the law, contributing to the gap between what women and men earn for comparable work. THE END. Researcher of Sociology, Texas A&M University. This gentlemen, is the cardinal sin of questions to a woman. 2. Your life looks so perfect ... isn't it? And so if we're not all that tired (maybe we just skipped the mascara this morning), we're left thinking: What's wrong with my face? Love and romance and relationships are definitely not something that we're going to give up on anytime soon. © 2021 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. In the Victorian era, the British referred to it as a “nervous-weakness” or “faintness” – never mind that women were expected to wear tight corsets that made it hard to breathe. ", Listen to me carefully. Something to spark a conversation, illicit a response. Can you calm down a bit for a second? Answer: Saint Peter, while preaching round the world, reached the woman’s door. 8. The word “hysteria” might mean something different today than it used to. Two of the women in my study noted that other women asked them that same question. Why don't you love? Third question is normally asking for a date, but honestly the girls have asked me out on the second question before I get a chance. Family and living situation. 2. Avoid these twenty queries at all costs and you'll be … Question 8. Copyright © 2010–2021, The Conversation US, Inc. And maybe we're all being a little overly sensitive with these "What Not To Say" posts littering the Internet. Send me your photos; Where are you now? Here's how you'll know the difference: A good question is thoughtful, interesting, engaging. Gram on July 24, 2020: I s nice. I know the people who ask them mean well, and are wonderful people, and I love them. As a woman, it’ll probably sound completely innocent to you. They recalled being equally offended. Congratulations! So why bother starting it? 5. Men despise this question. … D’you think I’m gaining weight? — you want to pick a better question? Are you ever around women who seem frustrated, upset or irritated? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE WEARING? Why you still single? Realistically, there is a ton of information on the right questions to ask a guy, but how about questions not to ask? 77 Questions Black People Are Tired Of Hearing. "No, I'm not sure how I managed to get knocked up again, please, please, give me the answer!") What she hears: "Are you growing a human or just getting hefty around the middle? Matt, the only man present, asked her if she was on her period. Here are 15 brutal questions women would love to get the answer to when it comes to men. Usually, asking about someone’s personal life is a surefire way to speed up the getting-to-know-you process. 7. Are you trying to make her stutter defensively, weep out of sheer insecurity? But now, you have a new problem - What to ask a girl? And just to satisfy my curiosity, I clicked on the link to find out what it was. There are a couple of questions that we ask innocently enough, but from a man’s point of view, they’re quite uncomfortable to answer. Texas A&M University provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation US. ), What she hears: "Damn, your life sounds boring.". Question 7. Who came to the woman’s house and what did he ask for? How old are you? Isn't Lupita N'yongo like, the most BEAUTIFUL black woman ever? Melissa K. Ochoa, Texas A&M University. A list of words and phrases that turn women on, the second you use them. But still. Reddit. And since men don’t have periods – with rare exceptions – they seemed to be more rational and reliable. 4. Men can end up smearing her up in many ways, but here we wanted to collect some of the questions that hundreds of man should NEVER ask a woman: How old are you? It's small talk. Level 3: flirty questions to ask a girl over text. … 3. If any of this information was of value to you in her mind, she would have told you upfront. Unlike what happened when men asked this question, however, they immediately objected, saying it was sexist. No one aspires to look tired. What she hears: The noisy static of judgment. He had been travelling the whole day and was tired and hungry. How he would spend the insurance money if you died. Female reproductive organs supposedly rendered women too “hysterical” – an English term derived from the Greek word “hysterika,” meaning uterus – to rule, learn or give any sort of valuable input. ... ask questions … 6. The Sexiest 3 Words a Man Can Say to a Woman ... We live in an age when women are empowered to care for themselves like never before. If you’re the type of woman who refuses to give up without getting an answer from your guy, then this trait of yours can easily irk him. What is your weight? With these questions to ask in mind, you can navigate any social situation with ease. right?". ", What she hears: "Pssh. The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. These incidents can happen anywhere. Why don't we have another kid yet? Do you have any drugs? I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." And while we’re sure you probably didn’t mean to elicit that strong of a reaction, you can probably recall a few cringe-worthy memories when some flippant remark made your girl (or a complete stranger) fly off the handle. Sure they "shouldn't" irritate us; they're just words. I found an example involving this question in the workplace, and I also personally experienced it while working as an IT recruiter several years ago when my boss once asked if I was feeling OK. While on their way to a nearby neighborhood to sled, “Jamal” flirted with “Candice,” but his “charms” went unreciprocated. We ask questions that assume a certain answer. You're standing in front of a woman — maybe she's a relative, or a new acquaintance, or a perfect stranger — and you're about to ask her a question. The reality is there are stupid questions that lower people’s impression of you when you ask them. Ignore us. 21 Questions to Ask a Girl ― So, you have liked her for a long time, and finally, she agreed to go out with you. Tweet. Now I know what you're thinking: you don't mean to be irritating. You … I spent three years conducting a study involving roughly 185 college students attending two large universities in different parts of the country. I got an ad for this while on YouTube, that kept putting this 4 word question on a pedestal and why it should NEVER be uttered by any woman. Never ask a … One student I’ll call “Stephanie” to protect her privacy described what happened while she was studying with other students. 14 awkward questions you should avoid asking your guy. But here's the thing: That approach might work in high school... but when you've met someone special you need to show her you care by getting to know her on a personal level. It is a golden rule NEVER ask a woman’s age, whether you like it or not. ", 20 Celebrities You Didn't Know Married Each OtherClick to view (20 images)Kim HaysAuthor Read Later, Dear Grown-Ass Women: Let's Stop Being So Damn MEAN To Each Other, 10 Ways To Be An Amazing Friend When Your BFF Has A New Baby, 14 Brutal Truths About Dating a Scorpio (As Written By a Scorpio). Never, under any circumstance, ask this question without accepting that you might hear this dreaded response: "I'm not. WhatsApp. Author. But there's one way to make sure that never happens: Asking the wrong questions on date number one. Female participants recounted many experiences, including being catcalled as well as being given secretarial positions in STEM group projects because their male group members didn’t believe they were smart. This question is either followed up by a debate on what, exactly, the word "feminist" means (as we have some convulted definitions), or it shuts down all future conversations forevermore. Acc… 1. For me question one is about food, question two is about wine. and "hurry up!" Do you have bf? In studying the systemic nature of sexism, I’ve learned that men and women alike can contribute to gender inequality in seemingly innocuous ways, including through what might seem like small talk. Will you be the one for me? Presuming that female reproductive organs make women behave irrationally is rude and sexist. I’m still analyzing this data, which I collected for my dissertation and will use for multiple projects that are still underway. 6. Melissa K. Ochoa Commonly held sexist beliefs blame women’s lower status on biological differences between genders. Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things: 1. Now before the words stumble out, ask yourself one thing: Is this a good question, or an annoying question? ... Can whites at least sing the "n-word?" We either end up listing our sacrifices and shortcomings in some kind of uncomfortable rebuttal or we laugh it off, internally remembering all of the ways we're falling short. Posted in Gentlemen 6 May 14. "You know what causes that, right?" (And what are you expecting in return? Can you narrow your focus, just a smidge? Words are an important thing, more important than a lot of people think. When will we meet? This is an easy way to ruin your friendships and your relationship at the same time. In fact, any question circling around our age deserves a big fat PASS. Share. The man and the woman enter the room separately, but only one of them enters to a musical serenade. The ancient Greeks believed women were hysterical because they had “roaming uteruses” that moved around within their bodies. But, please do yourself and the people around you a favor and never ask these five questions. There is no good answer, so just don’t ask the question. You … Therefore, unless you actually believe in women’s inferiority and want to imply that you don’t think women and girls can act rationally, never ever ask them at any point in time, “Are you on your period?”. Despite that, I’ve found that sexism remains a daunting problem for young adults. In other words, it raises their defenses, which is never helpful for gathering information. You don't see … Our eyes roll just the same. 4. It also evokes the same unscientific beliefs that have always held women back. You can't do that.". Empty, boring, unoriginal. A hushed admission that yes, just as you suspected, she secretly does nothing all day long — you got her! Those are more likely to be annoying questions. Home » 30 Things You Should Never Say To A Woman (And 5 Things You Should) 30 Things You Should Never Say To A Woman (And 5 Things You Should) by Chuck Henderson. Fortunately, it doesn't have to be. I’m going to do one better, and give you not only questions to NOT ask but them specific explanation behind why you shouldn’t ask them. For most of history, women in many cultures were denied equal access to public spaces and career opportunities for one reason: having a uterus. Football! If you're old enough to read these words, there’s a 99.9% chance you’ve said something to piss off a woman. Whether it comes from a well-meaning friend or a judgy frenemy or a die-hard vegan, it's always an irritating question, in all of its varieties. 2. Learn How To Flirt. 1. Why aren't we married? We need to have a girl (or a boy, if we already have girls at home), we need to freeze our eggs, we need to find a husband, we need to start that business ... WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? Every guy should know a handful of good questions to ask a girl... because: Whether you're making small talk at work or trying to charm your crush, talking to girls can be a little intimidating. A total of 12 women recounted being asked whether they were having periods, usually by men. 64. Whether you are meeting men online or in the real world, flirting is the best way … We all make mistakes. ( When your motive is just to flirt) Atleast try hve fear of God. You may have heard the key to getting a girl to fall for you is acting uninterested. One of the texts you should never send to a woman is a text questioning her actions and whereabouts. The same person who might want to find out if there’s a legitimate reason for their male colleague to become angry, frustrated or agitated might ascribe those same reactions in a woman to menstruation. It shows us that people are interested in who we are as people and that they care, or at least pretend to care. "Aren't you a little young/old for that? Take it from me: Don’t. Not every enforcer of this social norm is male. Is she prettier than me? You are being cranky; Are you on your period? However, there are some questions that you should never ask, primarily because it will make other people upset, uncomfortable, or … Then remember you don't have to be a condescending asshat today. In reality, this question only deserves one response: "I do think women and men deserve equal protection under the law, which, technically, is feminism." ... 35 Questions You Should Never Ask a Girl. There’s one four word question that you must NEVER ask a man if you want him to be your boyfriend or your husband… Do you know what the question is? Melissa K. Ochoa does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. ... 50 Inspirational Quotes for Women. "What do you do all day?" Can I … ( Coz we are always busy in some and other things?) No one aspires to look tired. First of all, there's no clear way for him to answer … Pin 45. (said to a pregnant woman. 3. “Anytime a woman is slightly in a bad mood, it’s always because we’re on our period,” said “Ashley” sarcastically, adding, “All other times we should be in the best mood, always smiling, and happy.”.